Eventually, I am going to talk about life after the hospital. Being wheelchair bound and stuck in an apartment where I couldn't get up on my own and my chair didn't fit through most doors. While I had a toddler.
I wanted to use my second post to explain the why of this blog. There are a few reasons.
1) First and foremost, I am writing this blog for me. While this has all creeped by, at the same time it has been a whirlwind of chaos and disorder in the life of an active Type A young Momma. I need to get it all out. I need to put it down.
2) My intentions with this blog are never to make anyone feel like they shouldn't complain. That my life has been harder and their troubles are petty. I have heard of two women who have lost their babies this year. Both about my son's age. I only knew them through message boards, but my heart still hurts for them. I believe they have it way worse than me.
That does not mean this while thing has been easy. It does not mean I have no rite to complain. I do try not to whine about it all. I do believe I am entitled to a small pity party now and then. Nothing long or life disrupting. Not often. I just am. This is another reason I am doing this blog. For my pity party days. When they happen, I have a place to come and look back to see how far I've come.
3) The type of tumor I have is not ultra rare. There's an organization for it and everything. They have a message board full of people who have it. What makes my situation so unique is how it's effected me. My tumor got way bigger than normal. Seriously, it's like the thing decided it was going to compete with the size of Roseanne...in my head. The aftermath and how badly I came out of it. Actually, I came out alive, which is good. It just took a serious toll on my neurological system. The fact that I had barely been married a year (Jan 23, 2007). I had a son less than a year old. I could find no one in a situation quite like mine. I am one of the youngest people I have ever met to have this. It has all been a bit depressing. Most people can have some radiation or have the surgery and are in the hospital a week...Me? I have surgery, in the hospital a month, and I am in physical therapy for an unknown amount of time. Doctors say it could be 18-24 months.
I just wish I knew someone who could relate. I just couldn't find anyone. Maybe I can be that someone for another young person who feels like their life was turned upside down. Who cries at night wondering if it will ever get better. Who is fighting to find some hope to cling to.
These are my main reasons. That and I felt like jumping on the bandwagon of the blogging world and this is the most interesting thing in my life. Scary, huh?
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Maybe your doctor could help you find a support group or something? There has to be at least one right?
ReplyDeleteThere is an association, actually. They have a support group in Texas and Alabama. Not exactly easy access for me.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to comment. I myself have not been through what you have but I have been through it. My son has an Acquired Brain Injury from Meningitis when he was 3.5. He is almost 11 now. He went through the speech, OT, PT, Rehab, losing his hearing completely (both ears). Since he cannot communicate normally yet, I have been his voice. He can talk, he can have conversations, but not on the phone and you have to speak very clearly and precisely.
ReplyDeleteIf you need any info on anything, I can help. This has been my life for 7.5 years.