Marriage

I said before I would do a post about the effects this has had on my marriage. I'm not going to lie, both my husband and I did each other wrong.

When I had my surgery, my husband had only been in his new position for a few months. He was a store manager and working hard. He took the day of my surgery and a day or two after off. That was it. I don't remember for sure because I don't remember that time. Was I hurt by this? You bet. The whole time I was in the hospital, he only came to visit twice a week. I was 1.5 hours away so I accepted it. What I didn't accept was him spending most of the time on the phone with work.

When I came home, my dad helped with my son and me. My husband worked 70+ hours a week. I grew more and more angry and bitter. I tried talking to him but all he said was that he had to. For the money. Everyone says it's all about the money. I do understand money is important. But I felt like that job meant more to him than me.

So I started picking fights and yelling. So mature of me, wasn't it? I spent a month at my mom's with Gabe in August. It really was just a vacation. My mother had just won her battle with breast cancer and I hadn't seen her since it begun over a year ago. During that time, I missed my husband like crazy.

I got home and the fighting started. My dad left soon after this point and I was along taking care of a toddler most of the time. I had a really bad day. One where I could barely move because I was so dizzy and my head throbbed. I asked my husband if he could take a personal day off. His reply was that this is not what sick days were meant for and to find someone else. I sobbed.

I yelled at him over everything. I was so mad and he either wasn't listening or didn't understand. Or worse, both. I began to feel alone, abandoned and unloved by my best friend. I don't know exactly what he felt, but not good. There was a plan for me to take Gabe back to my mother's after Christmas. We had talked about custody, visitation, child support... About a week after the decision was made, I broke down crying at the thought of not having him here anymore. We talked and he listened. I also went to counseling to help me learn how to deal with things in a less destructive way.

We don't fight anymore. Not really. They are just heated discussions now. No more yelling and screaming. I'm also on Prozac. I had fallen into depression without realizing it.

There's more but I don't remember. I don't want to. I'm happy the year is over and I have no problem leaving it in the past.